


Bloodlust is a Bitch

by Shmooshedbreadsticks



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 02:35:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20074723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmooshedbreadsticks/pseuds/Shmooshedbreadsticks
Summary: You get two different endings with this one ;)





	Bloodlust is a Bitch

-April 5th-  
Raven's POV:  
"Raven. Robin. You're both with me getting the dealers and guns. Everyone else, get the hostages." Nightwing orders.

Damian and I follow Dick next to a window in the front of the warehouse, while the others go around back. For the others to get the hostages, we need to distract the dealers long enough to draw attention away from the others, then arrest them.

Being an empath can be extremely useful at times. I can feel when someone feels afraid, even if I don't know they're there, alerting us to someone in danger. I can feel when a person would rather die than give themselves up, helping us better approach the situation. Being an enpath, I can help people. However, there are times, such as right now, that being an empath sucks. I can feel the hostages's fear and the dealers' disgusting self-satisfaction. I know we are going to help them, but for these few minuets that we are waiting, they are the only thing I can feel. Sometimes to distract my mind, I'll focus on my friends' emotions, but now isn't exactly the best time to do that. When Dick is invested in a mission, he manages to push most of his emotions to the side to focus, and Damian tries to do that most of the time anyways.

Damian discreetly peaked through the window and nodded to Dick. Dick held up three fingers, then two, then one as he signaled for the three of us to go in. It was a pretty short fight, some surrendering immediately. The ones guarding the hostages must have been new to this because when they heard us enter, they left the hostages unguarded to investigate. That made the whole thing go pretty smooth.

I walked over to Gar to make sure everything went well on their end when I suddenly felt a shift in someone's emotions. I couldn't tell who it was at first, but the feeling made me freeze at attention. It wasn't exactly anger or rage or hate, although those may have helped direct the feeling. It didn't feel like a regular emotion, it felt like a compulsion. Someone wanted- no. Someone needed someone else dead. 

"Robin no!" Dick shouted angrily fearful. I turned around to see Damian pressing a dagger to the neck of one of the men, nearly drawing blood. At the sudden noise from Dick, Damian seemed to snap back to reality, and just like that, the feeling was gone.

"This is not gonna be good" Jaime whispered to Gar and I.

—————————————————————-  
-April 5th-  
Damian's POV:

It's a silent ride back to the Titain's Tower, which is how you know something is wrong. If that wasn't already a dead give away, Father waiting in the common room for us was. Fuck.

"I need to speak with Damian." He requested, and everyone left the room rather quickly. "What happened?" I know he wanted me to say something, but I felt that in this particular situation, nothing I could say would change it, so I stayed silent.

"Fine. How about we talk about how you had a dagger to the throat of one of the dealers who had already been detained?" He said pointedly at me, but I only looked down.

I really didn't mean to. I mean sure, he probably deserved it, but I don't want to kill him. I've made too much progress since I left Talia to go back to how I was. I genuinely don't know what happened. In the moment I wanted him dead- I needed him dead, but only for a second. 

"I didn't mean to..." I started, but I couldn't find the words. Nothing seemed adequate to describe what happened. 

"Damian, you've done so well up to now. Why would you go back to what the League taught you? You can't just go around killing people. You say you 'didn't mean to' but that doesn't change the fact that you could have killed him! He needs to face actual, legal justice." Father went on. 

"I'm not the same person from the League. I-" I began, only to be interrupted.

"Just saying that doesn't make it true. You say you've changed, and every time I think you have, you do something like this. This isn't the first time, but I really thought you were past it." 

I looked down to avoid eye contact. I am trying. I really am. Sometimes I mess up, but I really want to be a better person. I didn't want to intentionally kill the guy, and I didn't kill him. But I guess all that matters is that I almost did. I remained silent because it seemed nothing I could say would change anything.

"I think it's best that you come back to Gotham for a little while." He suggested, but it wasn't a choice. Looks like the week isn't getting any better.

—————————————————————-  
-April 6th-  
Damian's POV:

I'm back in Gotham so Father could 'keep an eye on me', but it seems that at the moment he is otherwise occupied. Selina Kyle was seen robbing a jewelry store, so it was in everyone's best interest that Father take care of that without me. Fortunately, that meant that I could patrol by myself- on the complete opposite side of the city of course. 

I lept from one rooftop to the next until I heard a cry. Looking down, I saw a woman ketting robbed by a guy with a gun. After assessing the situation, I sprang into action. Upon seeing her robber distracted momentarily by me, the woman grabbed her purse and ran, leaving me and the gunman. I quickly disarmed him, and he surrendered himself once seeing he had no chance. He kneeled down with his hands behind his head, waiting for my to put the handcuffs on, but I paused.

He's defenseless. He's a theif. I could kill him right now, and no one would look twice. It's not just that he deserves it. It would be easy. A quick slicing of an artery. A katana to the chest. A bullet to the head. No matter how, it would be so easy to kill him- so satisfying. It feels right. I need to. I can't stop the feeling that this needs to be done.

Just as I place my hand on my dagger, ready to kill him, I hear a noise behind me. I turn around to see my cousin Mara? We have been enemies since childhood, but we both got past that. Now we kind of look out for each other. Before I can ask her what she's doing here, she takes the dagger from my hand and stabs the robber in the neck. Instinctively we both take a step back to avoid getting blood on either of us.

"What the hell?" I ask her, thoroughly confused. She looks at me as if I had three heads.

"What do you mean?" She asks, just as confused as me.

"What are you doing in Gotham? And why did you just kill that guy?" I asked incredulously.

"I came to visit you. I don't know about that guy. I just saw him and thought it'd be a good idea." She said, still a little confused. "Anyways, you're the reason I came. How are you holding up?"

"I reiterate. What the hell?" 

"You know how we only started getting along out of mutual hate for both of our parents?" She asked and I nodded. "Well this week is the anniversary of both our parents killing is and putting us in the Lazerus Pit."

"Huh." I said blankly. 

"That's all you have to say?"

"Actually I think that explains a lot. Do you remember when Nyssa told us that some people come out of the Lazerus Pit with 'bloodlust'?" I asked and I saw it click in her head too.

"Shit it's cause we both came out of the pit this week a few years ago?" She concluded. 

"So what do we do?" I asked, hoping she had a plan.

"Seeing as this never affected us before, I think it will go away after this week. Personally, if I kill someone, I don't care. I'll just make sure they deserve it. You on the other hand, aren't you doing a whole 'no killing thing'" I nodded. "Shit. Umm maybe just try to avoid people this week?" 

"Wow. So helpful." I said flatly.

"Sorry Damian. Call me or text me if you need anything, I know this week is going to suck because of this 'bloodlust' thing among other things. Who knows, maybe I'll stop by Nada Parbat and use this dumb bloodlust for some payback." She joked. I think it was a joke? 

"Yeah yeah. Same for me. Call me if you need anything." I called as she climbed up the fire escape. 

Now what to do with the body? Father will probably find it eventually. I'll just say I saw a member of the League of Assasins do it...

—————————————————————-  
-April 8th-   
Damian's POV:

Father asked about the robber, and I mostly told the truth. I said it was someone from the League if Assasins. Unfortunately for me and everyone else in Gotham, that meant he wanted to know what happened, so he invited Talia to Gotham. 

Honestly out of all weeks. Until Mara reminded me, I had nearly forgotten. We had both gone on a mission, but it went south. Talia and Mara's father needed to keep the target's trust, so they killed us and put us in the Pit. I always knew there was some subconscious hate for Talia, but now I remember why. Terrific. 

We were waiting at the dock when we saw Talia approach followed by a lower level assasin on either side of her. She stopped when she came to us.

"Damian. Beloved" she greeted us both.

"Talia" Father said coldly. I, however, chose to remain silent. I can't really tell if it's the bloodlust or hate that makes me want to drive my katana through her.

The two of them talk, but I can't focus on what they're saying. That feeling. The bloodlust. It's back, and I need to kill someone- something. I have too. I need to. At the moment, I can control it, but if someone says something slightly off, I can tell that I won't be able to stop myself.

"Damian." I turn to see Father called me. "Were you listening?" Honestly no, but I'm noting going to admit that. He just sighs in knowing defeat.

"I was just telling Bruce that you couldn't have possibly seen a league member in Gotham. We haven't sent any over for months." Talia recapped.

"I assure you, I know what I saw Talia" I snap. Both Father and Talia look momentarily shocked. Father because he has only ever heard me call Talia mother, and Talia at my outburst.

"Well. Now that I think about it. It could have been one person..." Talia starts smugly. "But surely you would have recognized your own cousin."

On any other day, I would try to talk with her, but I just couldn't anymore. I unsheathed my katana and swung it at her. She instantly deflected it with her own sword and stepped back, letting the other two asassins fight for her. I wasn't fighting to win- I was fighting to kill. It's a compulsion that I want ignore. It takes less than thirty seconds for me to get enlightened advantage to strike at a weak spot. In one continuous motion, I manage to deeply slash one's throat and one's torso. 

As they drop to the ground, I feel the compulsion gone. I look to to see Talia looking pleased while Father looks horrified. I drop my blade and collapse, letting darkness take over.

—————————————————————-  
When I wake up, I am back in the Manor. I vaguely hear Alfred on the phone with someone, and I can sense someone by my bed. I sit up to see Father looking at me with some kind of foul emotion. I think it may be disgust, but I don't maintain eye contact long enough to discern if it is.

"What the hell Damian?" He asks in a terrifying monotone voice. "Damian, we just talked about this. I thought maybe you just slipped up with the Teen Titains, but this- this is out of hand! You can't just kill whoever you want. Even if they're bad people, they deserve to face justice. You can't just be an executioner. All you need to do is not kill anyone! Millions of people go there whole lives without killing anyone, but you could barely go a couple of years."

"But Father I-" I pleaded.

"No," he cut me off. "I've tried giving you multiple chances. I really thought you could do it, but you almost killed a dealer, you lied to me about who killed the robber, and you killed two assasins! I just- We'll discuss what's going to happen tomorrow. I can't leave Gotham, but I don't think you should stay in Gotham." He ranted before leaving me alone.

—————————————————————-  
(Ending 1)  
-Still April 8th-  
Damian's POV:

After Father left me alone in my room, I closed the door and pulled out my sketch book. Whenever things go wrong, I like to sketch because it calms me down. Now I need to calm down more than ever.

I start with a light pencil and just draw an outline. Thinking back, I wish I hadn't killed the assasins, but in the moment I needed to. I couldn't stop myself, but the scarier part is that I didn't want to stop. I wanted nothing more than to see their blood spill on the docks. 

I pull out a black marker to finalize some of the outlines. When I did kill the assasins, I didn't feel remorse. I've killed many times before without feeling remorse- I was an assasin too after all- but when I killed them, I was happy? It was a strange feeling. It wasn't exactly happiness, it was more like relief when you impulsively do something like scratching poison ivy. 

The next marker I select is a red. I know the assasins weren't good people, but I can't help but to feel bad. I don't feel bad for killing them as much as I feel bad for enjoying their deaths. Talia set me up for this. I wonder if Mara's dad did something similar? Both of them killed us today a few years back after all. I mean, I know they killed us to make sure the job was done, but it still hurts. They're our parents, and they didn't hesitate in the least. It wasn't our fault that Talia and Unlce are so recognizable in certain circles. We were never their kids though- we were always their tools. We were a means to an end. 

I put my markers down and look at my sketchbook. It's a picture of one of the assasins bleeding out— in much detail. I throw the sketchbook across the room in frustration. Even subconsciously I just can't stop.

Just as I was about to completely freak out, I get a text from an anonymous number. Mara. I look over at my phone to see what she said.

"The assasins Talia brought for you to kill were traitors. She just wanted them gone. Sorry D, I'm here if you need."

Fuck. I trow my phone across the room too. They were going to sell out the League of Assasins. They could have helped take them down, but I killed them.   
I'm still just a tool that Talia used to kill for her. My mother doesn't care, Father is pissed at me for killing them, and now no one is going to trust me. Not my brothers. Not the Teen Titains. Not Jon. Not the Justice League. No one. I killed two people, and I liked it. I can't stop. I just want it to stop. I close my eyes, but all I can see are the assasins. It's just too much. What if I hurt someone else? What if I kill someone else? I just wish everything would stop. I don't want to kill anyone else. I don't want to hurt anyone else. I can't take it if I do, but I can't stop the feeling that drove me to kill them.

But wait- what if I only had to kill one person? If I died, I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt someone else, but I also can't live with myself now. It would be simple and solve everyone's problems. I wouldn't be a fool Talia used to kill people. I wouldn't be here to disappoint and irritate Father. I wouldn't be here to corrupt Jon or the Teen Titains- who probably have never seen someone killed violently. I wouldn't be here to irritate my brothers. It would be simple and easy. I mean, I've killed lots of people, and I've died before. A quick slicing of the throat would work. It would also be fairly quick and very effective.

I stand up and walk over to my drawers. Opening one, I pull out a dagger I have hidden in a secret compartment. Father already took the weapons he knows about while I was out. I hold the dagger, allowing the cool blade to press into the palm of my hand. It would work perfectly. I'd be out of everyone's way. I draw the dagger nearer to my throat when I hear my phone buzz. I turn around and see it's Mara again.

"I'm serious D. What they did was fucked up. You have to talk to someone about it, and I don't think you have. Please."

Shit I forgot about Mara. Still, it's worth it. I pick up the phone and shoot her a final text. 

"Sorry Mar."

We have been there for each other since we died, but this changes nothing. I'm still going to improve lots of people's lives. I press the dagger against my neck until I can feel a small trickle of blood. Pulling the dagger away, then quickly towards me, I let the blade slice my throat, letting the blood drain out as I collapse soundlessly onto my bed.

Finially I can stop.

—————————————————————-  
Jason's POV:

As I take out a group of drug dealers who sell to kids, I hear someone drop from a fire escape. The dealer who I had a gun pointed at suddenly drops dead without me pulling the trigger. Thoroughly confused, I aim the gun instead at the shadow of a figure where he used to be.

"Who the hell are you?" I demand.

"You're the Red Hood." The figure asks, but I only raise my eyebrow under my mask. "Jason Todd."

"Like I said. Who the hell are you?" 

"Mara Al Guhl." She says stepping closer. "And I need your help."

"Why would I help you?" I ask, not taking my aim off her. 

"Because you've been in the Lazarus Pit. You know what bloodlust is. Your my cousin's brother, and right now, he needs someone who gets that." She explains seriously. 

"I'm not saying anything you said was even accurate, but maybe I'll go check on the kid" I say, letting her know full well that I will. She nods and disappears into the shaddows.

—————————————————————-  
I enter the Manor through my old bedroom window. I don't exactly want Bruce to lecture me, so it's best to try to avoid him. I quietly make my way to Damian's room and open the door, but when I do, I have the immediate need to throw up.

"Oh my God. ALFRED!" I frantically call as I go to check for the pulse that I know I won't find.

———————————————————————————  
(Ending 2)  
-Still April 8th-  
Damian's POV:

After Father left me alone in my room, I closed the door and pulled out my sketch book. Whenever things go wrong, I like to sketch because it calms me down. Now I need to calm down more than ever.

I start with a light pencil and just draw an outline. Thinking back, I wish I hadn't killed the assasins, but in the moment I needed to. I couldn't stop myself, but the scarier part is that I didn't want to stop. I wanted nothing more than to see their blood spill on the docks. 

I pull out a black marker to finalize some of the outlines. When I did kill the assasins, I didn't feel remorse. I've killed many times before without feeling remorse- I was an assasin too after all- but when I killed them, I was happy? It was a strange feeling. It wasn't exactly happiness, it was more like relief when you impulsively do something like scratching poison ivy. 

The next marker I select is a red. I know the assasins weren't good people, but I can't help but to feel bad. I don't feel bad for killing them as much as I feel bad for enjoying their deaths. Talia set me up for this. I wonder if Mara's dad did something similar? Both of them killed us today a few years back after all. I mean, I know they killed us to make sure the job was done, but it still hurts. They're our parents, and they didn't hesitate in the least. It wasn't our fault that Talia and Unlce are so recognizable in certain circles. We were never their kids though- we were always their tools. We were a means to an end. 

I put my markers down and look at my sketchbook. It's a picture of one of the assasins bleeding out— in much detail. I throw the sketchbook across the room in frustration. Even subconsciously I just can't stop.

Just as I was about to completely freak out, I get a text from an anonymous number. Mara. I look over at my phone to see what she said.

"The assasins Talia brought for you to kill were traitors. She just wanted them gone. Sorry D, I'm here if you need."

Fuck. I trow my phone across the room too. They were going to sell out the League of Assasins. They could have helped take them down, but I killed them.   
I'm still just a tool that Talia used to kill for her. My mother doesn't care, Father is pissed at me for killing them, and now no one is going to trust me. Not my brothers. Not the Teen Titains. Not Jon. Not the Justice League. No one. I killed two people, and I liked it. I can't stop. I just want it to stop. I close my eyes, but all I can see are the assasins. It's just too much. What if I hurt someone else? What if I kill someone else? I just wish everything would stop. I don't want to kill anyone else. I don't want to hurt anyone else. I can't take it if I do, but I can't stop the feeling that drove me to kill them.

—————————————————————-  
Mara's POV:

Truth be told I couldn't leave Gotham. Something doesn't feel right, so I shot Damian text. We got closer after our parents killed us together, but I don't know if he would honestly talk with me about what happened. I mean, I probably wouldn't, but he needs to talk with someone. What about his brother? Jack? No. Mason? No. Jason! Jason Todd. Jason Todd has also been in the Lazeras Pit, so he knows what it's like. Now to kind him...

—————————————————————-  
Finding Jason Todd was easier than expected. Look for the guy in the bright red helmet killing dealers. I quickly step in, killing one of the dealers for him- well more so to satisfy the bloodlust.

"Who the hell are you?" He demands. 

"Mara, now I need your help so please hear me out." I start.

"Mara what?" He asks not lowering his gun. I stiffen at the question.

"Mara Al Guhl, cousin of Damian Al Guhl." I say through gritted teeth, as he scoffs. "Yeah yeah, I know. 'Why help me?' Well because it's about your brother genius." 

"What do you mean?" He asks suddenly serious. 

"Around this time a few years ago, both—. Damian came out of the Lazarus Pit. You have been there, and you know about the bloodlust. Apparently Talia set him up to kill two League traitors, and his father is pissed. I don't think Damian told him about the Pit. He just needs someone to talk to. Please." I explain and practically beg.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" He asks.

"Seriously? Why would I make that up? If I was making it up, he's tell you." Wow is he serious right now? His silence tells me he is currently rethinking that question.

"I'll check up on him" he says earnestly as he hops on his motorcycle and goes in the direction of what I hope is where Damian lives.

—————————————————————-  
Damian's POV:

But wait- what if I only had to kill one person? If I died, I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt someone else, but I also can't live with myself now. It would be simple and solve everyone's problems. I wouldn't be a fool Talia used to kill people. I wouldn't be here to disappoint and irritate Father. I wouldn't be here to corrupt Jon or the Teen Titains- who probably have never seen someone killed violently. I wouldn't be here to irritate my brothers. It would be simple and easy. I mean, I've killed lots of people, and I've died before. A quick slicing of the throat would work. It would also be fairly quick and very effective.

I stand up and walk over to my drawers. Opening one, I pull out a dagger I have hidden in a secret compartment. Father already took the weapons he knows about while I was out. I hold the dagger, allowing the cool blade to press into the palm of my hand. It would work perfectly. I'd be out of everyone's way. I draw the dagger nearer to my throat when I hear footsteps outside my room. I quickly shove the dagger back into its hiding place just in time. I turn around and see Jason enter my room.

"Todd? What are you doing here?" He usually stays as far away from the Manor as possible to stay out of Father's way.

"Mara come to me and told me what's going on." Great. "So I came to see ya."

"Appreciated but unnecessary." I assert, trying to get him to leave so I can go back to my original plan.

"Listen Damian," he starts and I stop. He usually calls me Demon Spawn or some kind of nickname. Never Damian. "You know the Lazarus Pit brought me back too. I feel that thing too- the 'bloodlust' your cousin called it."

"I thought you just killed people because they deserve it?" I ask raising an eye brow.

"I mean, I do, but there's times when I just need to kill someone. I know it's terrible, but I have to. That's when I work especially hard to find someone who deserves it. And hey, sometimes I make mistakes. I've accidentally killed a gang leader who wanted to turn their life around, but you can't dwell on that. They did do bad things, and nothing you think about is going to change what happened." 

"That doesn't seem to matter to Father." 

"Bruce is sorta a stick in the mud about these kinds of things." He paused. "How did he...? Was he...?"

"Father was pissed. He wants to send me out of Gotham." I finish for him.

"Asshole" he mutters and I raise an amused eyebrow. "So he wants to leave Gotham?"

"I said he wants me to leave Gotham. He fully intends to stay." I say causing him to go silent.

"I know we don't always get along, but..." he says taking a deep breath. "If you wanted, you could live with me? I mean, there would still be roles like here, but I, unlike Bruce, don't have the stick of righteousness so far up my ass that I can taste it." I chuckled at that, causing him to grin a little. 

"Would Father allow that?" I ask skeptical yet hopeful.

"Probably wouldn't be happy about it, but it's your life. What you do with your life is up to you. You can come live with me, but only if that's what you want. I'm not going to force that on you." He assures.

I think back to the dagger in my drawer. All my reasons for using it seem irrelevant. Jason has gone through many of the same things, but he's still here. He's still fighting. I can fight too. 

"I'd like that Jason." I say earnestly, causing him to smile at the use of his real name.


End file.
